BUILDING A GODLY AND LASTING RELATIOINSHIP By Miss Naomi Idajili

Hosted on Relationship Clinic.

Convener: Mr. Ocheh, E. Emmanuel



by way of introduction, I will start by saying It doesn't matter how beautiful a structure is, if the foundation is faulty, the building will definitely collapse. It's just a matter of time.

So many relationships are built on faulty foundations, reasons why some of them collapse as a heart break or a divorce.

Now the question is, how do we build a Godly and lasting relationship??

To build means to develop and grow, or establish something that is abstract.

From the above definition, you will agree with me that every building does not begin with a block, it begins with a vision, a plan or a design.

It's important as an individual, to have a vision or a picture of the kind of marriage you desire to have. If it's a Kingdom marriage or the World's kind of marriage.

As believers, if we must have a Kingdom marriage, then we must be ready to follow and obey kingdom principles.

For the unbelievers, it might be ok to make Marital decisions based on physical attractions, personal judgements and so on, but for you as a believer that desires to build a Godly and lasting relationship/marriage the case is not the same.

It's important for us to know that God ordained marriage for the purpose of, fruitfulness, Dominion, multiplication, to produce Godly offsprings Gen 1:27-28, Mal 2:15b and to fulfill kingdom Agenda.

We must have God's intentions at heart even as we make the decision of whom to spend the rest of our lives with.

Very quickly I'll be sharing with us some some salient things to consider or put in place as we all trusting God for a Godly and lasting relationship that will lead to marriage and a forever experience ���

The first point I will like us to consider tonight is:-

1.INVOLVE GOD IN YOUR MARITAL DESTINY

marriage is an institution ordained by God himself, he identified man's need of a helper, and he created a helper suitable for him. A godly relationship is a relationship between 3 entities, God, the man and the woman. Where both parties (The Man and the woman) are taking reference from God.

Marriage is a continuation of what God is doing in your life. God does not prepare you in marriage, he begins to work on you even before you meet your spouse

It's important to identify your place of assignment as a man, and be committed to your walk with Him.

Also for the ladies, it's important that you allow yourself to be made by God, stay with Him until he makes you a suitable helper.

If we allow and involve God in our relationship affairs, he'll cause us to flow naturally into his perfect will. You won't struggle to get it right.

We all need to be committed to our walk with God and to building Godly virtues that will make us better individuals. This is very key

2. Count the cost: Luke 14:28-30

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

This is what so many people experience when they do not count the cost before making their marital decision

Marriage is a forever commitment. More reason why so much effort is being invested to ensure that you get things right from the start of saying yes I will to saying yes I do���

Before you make your intentions known to a lady as a brother, please settle down count the cost, ask yourself some genuine and realistic questions; is God leading you?? Are you sure you're willing to spend the rest of your entire life with that sister?? Is she qualified to be the mother of your unborn children?? Are you sure you're willing to love her even unto death if need be?��� Can she walk through the journey of destiny with you?? Having an idea of God's intentions for your Life.

Please think about this ������

Same with you my beloved sisters, ask yourself real and genuine questions before saying yes to his proposal; is he qualified to be an authority over you?? are you willing to submit your all to him?? Please never say yes to a man you cannot submit to it's disastrous, try as much as possible to be real with yourself on the choice of whom to marry, even if God is leading you.

And if they're some obvious traits you cannot manage or live with please calm down and get things right before saying yes.

The third point we will consider

3. Follow kingdom principles:

I. Love and submission- Ephesians 5:21-33

Please do well to read up the scripture

The above scripture gives us a perfect picture of God's model of a Godly relationship/marriage.

A Godly relationship/marriage is one that is modeled after the relationship between Christ and the Church, where Christ is the head and the man in submission to the lordship of Christ, heads/leads the woman, loves the woman as Christ loves the church and the woman also submits to her husband as the church submits to Christ. The aim of love and submission is not for oppression but to bring the both parties to the point of perfect unity (The two shall become one flesh) just as Christ desires that we come into perfect unity with Him, as he is with the father.

We will have little or no problems in our Relationship/marriage if this principle is well understood.

Still on following kingdom principles, the next we will consider is SEXUAL PURITY

ii. Sexual purity

Any relationship built on sexual immorality will lead to future infidelity, distrust and disloyalty.

Marriage is honourable with the bed undefiled. Your bodies are the Temple of the Holy ghost, therefore glorify God with your body.

Do not allow the pleasures of today, deprive you of the glory that's ahead of you. You do yourself good by not starting your relationship on the bed of immortality. There's time for everything under the sun...so wait for the right time!

Lastly

4. Seek parental counsel, consent and approval

It is very important to seek counsel and approval from both biological and spiritual fathers and mentors. Talk to them about your relationship, make it open, Incase of any reservations or objection from them look into it, pray about it, and trust God to lead you.



Allow things to flow naturally, don't force yourself on anybody and don't allow anyone force themselves on you. If it is the will of God, then he is committed to make it happen.

As a way of summary

Having a Godly and lasting relationship/marriage is possible, if we allow God to lead us work on us and follow His own principal.

Remember, the foundations of the Lord standeth sure...God will not bend his principles to suit us, we are to subject ourselves to his will, if we really want to have it His own way.

I will like to end by sharing a bit of my experience..

I had to end a relationship that lasted for about 7years, because so much was neglected from the foundation. If I had known some of the things I knew now, then I wouldn't have gone into it in the first place. My dear it's never too late to visit your foundation oo, nor too late to get things right, perhaps you're in a relationship and you feel that some of this things are not in place, you can get things right with your partner, check it out with God and peradventure it's not working, please... move oo, don't say you have gone too far. It's never too late to redirect your steps

God bless you all

Question 1: This most times has been a challenge especially to sisters...at times one will say God spoke expressly but then she is waiting for her mentors and Spiritual father to approve... at times 2 people might give their approvals while 1 or 2 didn't believe in the relationship you are about to enter and it will place the sister in dare confusion....what can be in such a case Ma?

Questions 2: This is a very interesting topic, but please how do we handle this part of the sexual purity, because it appears the devil has really taken the hearts of men full force on this issue that you hardly can get a faithful man even the so called men of God, believers. Please how do we help our sisters from this problem as a Christian trying to follow what the Bible is saying, and we keep changing relationship because of just five minutes pleasure.

Answer: Remember I started with the fact that we need to involve God in our marital destiny, and the need to be committed to our walk with God as well. So you'll know how God speaks or relates with you

To your question, the final decision/conviction of whom to marry must come from you, cos that's one of the very important thing that will help you to stand in the face of trials. Personally I won't even involve them about someone that the spirit is not bearing witness for me, there should be a level of conviction for you before involving them. I advise you do your homework very well so that when you're going to meet them, it will be more of a confirmation for you. But I know they're cases where you're convinced and then one or two persons are not in agreement to it. That's why I said earlier that you should take time and look into their observations, don't allow your emotions to blindfold you, give them that respect and give it time. Let God reveal it to them as well if it's truly his will.

There's no need to be under undue pressure, if you're sure God is involved, it's just a matter of time, you'll get your full approval

Answer 2: The issue of sexual immorality is of outmost concern in our time where it is now abnormal to live in sexual purity... you hear people making statements like they can't marry a virgin... like seriously??

We live in a time where saying yes to someone is saying yes to sex, even when you both are yet to be married

Like I said earlier, God will not bend or change his standards for any man even if you're an apostle.

Sex outside marriage is a sin against your body which is the Temple of God.

I'll give some few points on how to handle sexual purity.

1. Make a deliberate decision and discipline to live in sexual purity.

2. Ensure you're on the same page with your partner, make it clear from the beginning - no sex before marriage, if he or she refuses, you move, cos his submission to God's word is questionable.

3. Flee flee flee: when it comes to the Matter of sexual immorality, the bible always admonishes us to flee, just flee, don't try to claim Superman or you are strong enough to share same room, same bed with an opposite sex alone, you will shock yourself, Just flee, flee every appearance of lust please flee



Above all trust the Holyspirit to help you, declare your vulnerability to him, it's not by strength nor by might, it's by the spirit... and it is Christ who worketh in us, both to will and to do of his good pleasure.



Thank you for reading through and I believe you have learnt and gained one or two things from this piece.



If you wish to reach or contact us:(emmanuelocheh@gmail.com, +2348064168207, +2349150991071)